Let's talk shop(ping). {How to Get Your Spending Under Control}

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Hi interwebs!
It's been a minute since I did a blog post, but this week I've been working with clients around a common topic—money money money!

Since it keeps coming up for them, I thought more folks could use some info and insights around a part of our money mindset that we don't often talk about—walking away from the purchase.
It's not fun or sexy like manifesting tons of money, but sometimes, for a lot of people, there's some work to be done. 

When working with clients around their spending habits, I use the acronym SALE to help them decide whether or not the purchase they’re going to make is something they’ll feel good about or they’re simply shopping just to shop or are anxious. This tool is something I developed after dealing with my own impulsive spending habits.

1.Start to become aware.
I work with clients around noticing how they feel whenever they’re nervous, anxious, or even bored throughout everyday life and maybe even find themselves window shopping online at school or work. They develop a list of ways they know they’re experiencing those feelings that they can reference later, that way, when they’re actively shopping, the dopamine is flowing, and their brains are primed to spend money they are able to quickly name their own red flags that may lead to impulse spending.

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2.Ask yourself what’s going on.
Before clicking order, or handing the item over to the cashier, check in and ask yourself if the purchase is something you really want. This is the step where they check in with themselves and compare how they’re feeling in the moment to other times they feel stressed.

3.Leave the item.
I tell clients that if they have any hesitancy and think that maybe they’ll regret the purchase to leave it be for at least 24 hours. Most of the time, the store has no problem holding the item for that length of time, and if the website isn’t stating that the item is almost sold out, then it’s a pretty safe assumption the item will still be available in 24 hours. Getting out from the store or away from the messages to buy, even if only for a few minutes is essential to not get caught in the moment and just spend money.

4.Engage with someone else.
So often, when we shop impulsively we’re looking to fill a different void or seeking validation about something. Engaging with a friend can provide a source of connection and an outlet to vent about anything that’s going on, and even be a sounding board for the pending purchase. Additionally, engaging in a task can help someone feel accomplished and get their mind off of whatever was triggering the anxiety.

Whenever I’ve had clients utilize that process and they’ve actually gone back to make a purchase, they report feeling confident that it was something they feel good about. This helps reduce anxiety and increase confidence around the spending.

Ultimately, for anyone managing stress and impulse spending, the key to managing it is to be aware it’s something they do, and have the tools to not only recognize when it’s happening but to also step out of the situation.
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How do you balance spending and splurging?

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Recognizing when feeling low vibe may mean something else

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Recently guys, I’ve been feeling pretty fucking low vibe. A bit lower than low vibe. I may have texted the bestie with the ever ominous sentiment of, “I have a feeling…”

It was something I just couldn’t shake. This went on for about 10 days.

And, of course, like attracts like, right?

 

Naturally, one of the most common conversations I’ve had lately is with clients needing to take a real good look at what’s going on, and processing whether or not they’re in a funk, or, if there’s something a bit bigger going on.

So, if you’ve been going through a funk, and think it may be something more, here are seven pieces to think about and help you decide if it’s a funk that you’ll get through with time, or if it’s something else and maybe time to talk with someone.

  • The first piece of course is if you're feeling down (have a low mood or low vibe) for a lot of the day, nearly every day. This may look different for different people, especially young adults. A decrease in mood may look like distractibility or even agitation or irritability, not necessarily classic feelings of sadness.
  • Another key indicator is loss of interest in activities. The things that used to make you happy or would take your mind off of the stress of life just don't interest you anymore.  
  • Loss of energy, not being able to get out of bed, or it taking longer to get out of bed can also be an indicator that someone is experiencing a depressive episode.
  • Additionally, if you experience thoughts or feelings of worthlessness, pointlessness, or guilt, those could indicate depression.
  • Change in weight either from not feeling hungry and not eating, or increase in consumption of comfort foods, can be a physical indicator that your mood has been consistently off.
  • Also, changes in sleep...sleeping way more or less than your typical routine.
  • Finally, thoughts of death and suicidal thoughts, even without a plan or attempt, can indicate depression.  This can range from feeling like you want to go to sleep and not wake up, to considering ways of ending your life, to an established plan or actual attempt.

(That’s right, I went there. It’s a HUGE myth that mentioning suicide will trigger someone to contemplate suicide. The more we talk about it, the more likely someone is to speak up if it’s something they’re considering. Just a little something I picked up during my time volunteering on the suicide crisis line.)

It's important to remember that just one of these things doesn't mean you're depressed, depressive symptoms cluster together, and are consistent for more than a two week period.

Of course, if you experience any of those for less than two weeks, that could indicate another form of mood disorder. The key thing to consider is—are the symptoms, or even your mood in general, affecting your satisfaction and quality of life.

The most important question to ask yourself when considering speaking with someone is, "How is this affecting my life?"

If your mood is affecting your life, and getting in the way of your routine, then it's time to find a professional to speak with. Your primary care physician can be a great place to start, as most doctor's offices now have behavioral health integrated, so if you need it, there's likely a mental health professional available in the same office.

Additionally, there are a number of other things that it may be besides depression such as Seasonal Affective Disorder, Dysthymia, or even Adjustment Disorder.  Adjustment Disorder, which is pretty much simply having difficulty dealing with a life change, is often misdiagnosed as depression, particularly in young adults. And yes, those things are diagnosable, they can be viewed along the same lines as allergies and stuff, easy to manage with basic skills, which we’ll look at in the next blog.

Cheers,

Dez


One important thing to note is that if a person is experiencing suicidal thoughts and do not feel like they can keep themselves safe, they should seek help immediately either by calling the National Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255 or Lifeline Chat at the following link http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx or going to their local emergency room for assistance

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Conquering the Creative Freeze

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Conquering the Creative Freeze

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Rather, it’s your passion and creativity.

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